You tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
prettier
less volatile, less awake
but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do, love
split his head open?
you can’t make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love.
the day i left
was the day i fell apart.
i hated it, i hated seeing you
pretend like you weren’t on the verge of
tears.
i hated pretending not to notice.
but i needed it. i couldn’t get you out of my mind
so i chose to leave my mind behind.
i let you have it, i let you live in it.
running away from you was the only way
i knew how to get away from you.
and i thought that it would work. i really did.
yet it didn’t.
because as you can see, my body still knows you
my fingers continue to write all about you.
i handed you all of me, everything.
i’m still yours and
i don’t want to be.